I am still not sure whether it was a blessing or a curse but after 12 years in Brazil, I was pulling my hair out to leave. You see my wife and I had been slowly drifting apart and I felt like she had been putting her family first, and anything that I did, be it an 5 star hotel on one of the most beautiful beaches in Brazil or a romantic getaway to a cozy little mountain town. She was always anxious and in a rush to get back to her family where she could spend days listening to gossip about everyone in the family who had been outcast for some reason or another. I guess as an outsider, I could care less about some cousin I had never met and probably never would. I felt like I was wasting my weekends that I could be spending exploring a beautiful country full of amazing people and places. After a while I stopped hanging out with her family and she didn’t, so I spent many a weekend alone and the resentment started to build. It went on like that for quite a few years and I spent even more time alone as first her father got sick and passed then her mother got sick. It was around year 6 of these difficulties that I decided to leave and move back to the US. It was a huge risk as I half expected her to stay with our daughter and I would return to the US alone.
For better or for worse Brazil was going through a rough patch and that was just the spark I needed to go ahead and make the final push for a move. It was actually sparked more so by a difficult spot that my employer had put me in and through the difficulties that my relationship was experiencing and the responsibility of what I felt like was raising a little girl and taking care of a dog 90% on my own, I just decided right then and there in my bosses office that I wasn’t going to be pressured into taking on more. I said no to my bosses requests and when she pushed for more I decided it was time to let them know that I was leaving. That pretty much solidified my decision and the clock began ticking.
That brings us to another big reason for me wanting to leave Brazil. I didn’t feel like I was making any forward progress professionally.